Soul Blossom

I received the following by e-mail. I have to say, it is hilarious Rated PG-13 so if you are under 13, now is the right time to leave

This was written by a guy … It is pretty damn smart.

Girls — Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion started to heat up, and she eventually said: ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’

I said, ‘WHAT! What was that?’

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’

She responded to my puzzled look by saying: ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch, and then we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her we would just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said: ‘Let’s get a pair for each outfit.’

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… She was really excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she does not even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said: ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.’

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’

I then said: ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’

Apparently I am not having sex tonight either… But at least she knows I am smarter than her!